My Story

By Stella Vogel, Founder of Angel Bear Nonprofit

My name is Stella Vogel, otherwise known as Angel Baby, a name bestowed upon me by my dad.

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For the first three years of my life, my father, Carroll Vogel, fiercely battled prostate cancer. He passed away on July 5, 2010, when I was just three years old. Some of my earliest memories are of us snuggled together in his hospital bed. I was too young to fully understand the gravity of what was happening, but I remember how often he was sick and how confusing it was to witness the slow death.

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During his final year, my dad spent significant time at Evergreen Hospice in Kirkland, Washington. I still recall the unsettling quiet of the facility. Everyone around me seemed sad, and that made me sad. Watching my best friend and father, slowly slip away was something my three-year-old self couldn’t process.

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Hospice facilities aren't built for small children. However, Evergreen Hospice did something small that changed my grief journey . Near the entrance, they kept a basket of new stuffed animals for young visitors like me. One day, a staff member knelt down and asked me if I’d like to choose one. The basket blurred away. My eyes locked on a small white bear with shimmering wings and a halo: my Angel Bear.​

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I held onto it like a lifeline. It was bright and soft and entirely mine. In a place filled with sorrow, this little bear brought comfort and magic. I remember the invincible feeling of clutching it under my arm during those final visits with my dad. When the adults cried, and I didn’t know what to do, I held my Angel Bear tighter.

 

​​​​​​​​​Today, I am eighteen years old and I still have my Angel Bear. Even now, when unexpected waves of grief find me, I hold it the same way I did all those years ago. It is a reminder to me, that I am never truly alone on my grief journey, and proof that my father once lived.​

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I created Angel Bear Nonprofit to share that comfort with other grieving children. We provide brand-new stuffed animals to hospice and hospital settings, so that no child has to face overwhelming loss, alone.

 

It may seem like a small gesture, but to a child facing the unimaginable, it can mean the world.